How can your family be so cold and uninviting towards the boy who has stood next to you for four years?
My parents know I own a vibrator therefore I dont hide it. Its in the clear box it came in when I bought it. I leave it on top of the chess in my room. My 10 year old brother asked what it was today. I laughed telling him it was a toy. He goes “you are 19, you dont need toys.”
how stupid of me; to think I was the only flower in your garden.
"Bare your flesh for those who love your bones."
Just know that I love you. I love you with all of my fucked up, piece of shit heart.
I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone.
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.
But when I see a mother with her child;
A girl with her lover;
Or a friend laughing with their best friend;
I realize that even though I like being alone
I don’t fancy being lonely.
and I’m over it,
I’m over it,
I promise I’m over it.
But it still hurts sometimes.
Q:Tell us about your parents. How did they shape who you are today? What parts of them do you see in yourself? How did their parenting impact your parenting style?
a doozey, thank you.
my mom and dad married at age 18 and are still married. Dad was off to Vietnam and Mom waited for him to come home. They did the military thing for awhile and then went on to have three kids. Two are pretty awesome and one is an asshole.
as a child, their work ethic definitely shaped me more than anything. as an adult, their generosity is most notable.
Parts i see in myself. (Gonna go with good parts)
Of my mom: treating myself. like save money, sure, but when i want something, just spend it and get it. she always says “you only go around once and you can’t take money with you. You earned it. Spend it. Share it.” so i do.
Of my dad: love and appreciation of humor. and appreciation in general.
My relationship with them had strains for some time. Especially with my mom. As some of you saw the other night, there’s this… don’t even know what words to use… like she loves me i know. but for some reason i never feel like im the kid she wanted me to be. even though i tried to be perfect. perfect attendance. straight A’s. winning in gymnastics. always above and beyond on chores. so, like, i don’t know. she loves me but doesn’t really like me sometimes. 😢
However, despite any strife, confusion, or whatevs, my parents have always been supportive. Some things took longer to support but they did. EXCEPT! My Dad absolutely hated when i came home from college one year with my belly button pierced. wooweee! won’t ever forget the look he gave me. i was too old to go get the belt but he sure wasn’t happy. this i know!
Much of how i parent (and let the record show i am a fabulous mommy) comes from wanting a different life for my kid. i didn’t say “better.” just a different one. unique to her. i have chosen to do many things opposite of how i was raised. in some ways to protect her since i wasn’t. to give her independence by choice not because she has to be. and an open ear to listen to her ANY time about ANY thing. i never could do that. i cherish it now with my kid. i don’t say my kid and i are best friends. i am very clearly PARENTING her. but, there is a love similar to friendship as well and i think we both enjoy that immensely.
this mighta gotten too long. but thank you, Myndi, for asking such a doozey. i loved reading other’s responses today and thinking through my own. i like it.
Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.