You don’t understand that the trust is broken. I get a sick feeling in my stomach. It never lets me feel special. It never lets me feel true. It never lets me be completely happy. Because his lies live on my mind like a stain. Why cant I be loved right? What did I do? Shouldnt even have to express that he likes other females appearances. I know how he is. I know he will jump on it as soon as he gets back. Probably jumping on it now. Its becoming where I just dont want to try. Because this isnt true. I would rather just be alone but I double think and is it something I could push through? Push through because I love him so. There are all these guys that are coming to me about how they had crushes on me in highschool but I was always with him. It has always been him. It blows my mind. Theres more than six of them. Idek if I am the only one for him, even if I am, I dont feel like so. I know I am probably the one mainly on his mind. But I dont like the thought that other bitches are on it too. I get he is a young man but why hold me with both arms and reach out with yor pinky meanwhile? I dont like this. It makes me feel empty. It has made me jealous and insecure to the core. Its always a possibility that I am wrong for feeling this way, but I cant help it. By his side I stay. Lord forgive me. For I am lost and dont know which way to go.
If you were mine, I’d show you off to the world.
Id drive a million miles to see you smile and to hear that laugh the brightens up my world.
I would swim to the ends of the world and back just to say the impossible was possible.
If you were mine, I’d risk it all, bet my life earnings on our love because there would be no losing.
If you were mine, I would go back in time to when we first met just so I never forget what that first true meaning of love meant.
I would revisit our fights so I can never make the same mistake again.
If you were mine, there would be no ending to our beginning because each day, every moment would be everlasting.
If you were mine, I would make sure to catch every one one of those tears that fall down your beautiful face.
I would let my shirt soak up all your pain and suffering before they ever became a burden for you to carry.
I would let my arms go numb, just to told you by my side a bit more longer.
If you were mine, we wouldn’t have the perfect type of love, but I would have you and nothing could ever beat that."
— If you were mine; M. F. M (via gotttaletithappen)
loving you was like reading my favorite book for the first time, and realizing half way through that it just knocked all other books out. halfway through me and you, I realized you were my favorite book. every crease, corner, page, and chapter of you was my favorite.
but then loving you was like finishing my favorite book for the first time. and I’m burned out carrying this novel around not knowing what to do. knowing I could never read another story that made me feel the way this one did. my heart still aches and starting it over isn’t an option. because beginnings, at least the good ones, are always slow. and it’s too many pages away from the peak in the book where everything is perfect and I just want to rush back to that spot. but then it’s not enough pages away from the drop in the book that opened my chest and shredded what was inside.
loving you is like that. and I can’t start over with you because I know how this book ends, and I don’t have the energy to write a sequel.
(it would never be as good as the first anyway.)
so I’m stuck carrying around this book that tells the beautiful story of a lost love that was supposed to last forever. and I couldn’t possibly pick up a new book, but god our book is thicker than I thought and it’s heavy in my arms, and the ending is so sad that thinking about it makes me cry and my eyes are drying out I think. and I’m wondering why I’m the one who’s stuck with the remaining pages when you jumped ship four chapters ago.
but loving you was like reading my favorite book for the first time, except it was one I borrowed from the public library and yesterday after six months of over due fees and letters in the mail, I finally dropped it off in the book drop outside the door. and I forgot all about the characters and the way they loved each other so sharply they both have cuts from the pages."
— borrowed books (via: emptiestoceans)
Anonymous asked: You have actually got the loveliest smile, I hope you find lots of reasons to show it off <3
Perfect thing to read before going to bed c: Well just know that you have been a reason! Goodnight Anon